Worship Extravaganza - Meeting God in the Arts..

During the Family Retreat, Jessica shared some drawings that came out of her worship and experiences with the Lord.

Some of these drawings can be found here. Linking them for your enjoyment and encouragement.

Drawings by Jessica

Forerunners Retreate 2008 reflection by Xin Hui

Forerunners Retreat 2008 - My Reflections

The message from ‘Driven by Eternity’ is hard and I left the retreat with a heavy heart. But there is no doubt that God spoke to me during this retreat.

Throughout the teaching sessions, there was this nagging sense that I have perhaps grown complacent and have started to neglect God in my daily life. I have become lukewarm. And the more worrying thing was that I somehow found a way to convince myself that being lukewarm is fine as long as I don’t fall away from God totally. Based on what happened to the characters in Affabel, I realized that my thinking was quite dangerous. Yet, my pride and self-righteousness caused my heart to harden against the truth.

During the worship session, when Adrian called for those who needed prayer to step forward, I struggled. Part of me told me that I was alright since I have not been convicted of any serious sin by the teachings. Yet, the other part of me said that I was NOT alright because not being shaken by the teachings probably implied a hardened heart. Thank God, the latter part got the better of me and I went forward.

To cut the long story short, God reminded me of what Jesus did on the cross and of what it truly means to be a Christian. It is not simply about going to church weekly, attending cell group, reading the Bible or even serving Him. The foundation of our faith is the cross and God’s love for us. God also brought to my mind the parable from Luke 18:9-14 –

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Along the way, I have become like the Pharisee. God wanted to humble me. As I knelt there that day, I felt like I was the helpless tax collector, pleading to God for mercy because of all the times I have not put Him first in my life, questioned His goodness and complained against Him.

Adrian asked me to confess each of the things I have not obeyed God in and to ask for God’s forgiveness. After that, he told me that God’s love is not conditional upon the things that we do for Him. Nothing we do can earn us God’s love. It is given freely. Wow. That hit me hard again. God’s ways are sometimes so difficult to comprehend. But I suppose that is how God wanted to assure me of what Jesus said at the end of the above parable. Whenever we humble ourselves before the Lord and surrender to Him, He will justify and exalt us.

Having eternity in mind will definitely help me to keep things in perspective and to persevere through this race which we are running for God. I know that I will need to continually pray against the lukewarm-ness and the self-righteousness, especially once I get catapulted back into the busy-ness at work. I pray the same for all Forerunners.



Xinhui

Retreat 2008 - Reflections from Wee Peng

Forerunners’ Zone Retreat 2008

Reflections

1. What God has spoken to you about?

• My family. Why have I not been sharing the word actively with them? My prayers are not consistent and I’m not spending enough time with them. Is it the lack of fear in the Lord or is the lack of love for them?

• My pride. Do I always consider myself better than others? This is an absolutely wrong attitude that I shouldn’t have, but unknowingly have I been adopting that and refusing to be corrected? It took an encounter during retreat for me to realize this.

• 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4

  
  

• Even as I seek to grow in this church, I must not be like “Selfish”, which is the closest I could identify with.

• Relationship with Swee Ching. Are we bearing fruits. Is it honoring to Him and would He use it to speak into other people’s lives?

2. What God has impacted you the most and why?

• Fear of the Lord. My understanding of it is now better and that it has to go hand in hand with Love for Him. For fear keeps us from lawlessness, love keeps us from legalism. I realize that sometimes I have many human fears (especially in my work) but this should never outweigh the fear of the Lord. I asked that God gives me the courage to overcome the human fear for courage is not the absence of fear but the overcoming of it. May I overcome any human fear with Him but may the fear of Him remains in my heart.

3. How has the past 5 sessions changed your view about Christianity and your life from now on?

I’m sure of my salvation but after these 5 sessions, I realized that there is much more to it. It’s not about where, it’s about HOW!

• There is much more to eternity and we need to be really driven by it.



• Relationship with God. Is He please with me, to allow me to spend eternity with
  Him in his kingdom, near to Him and not in the outlands?
  

My Weeping Moment

I wept during worship extravaganza 2. I did not know why I wept when it started. I have written down some thoughts that went through my mind during the time when Adrian is ministering to those who stepped forward but as I walked to the center of the room, it just happened suddenly. First, my face got contorted and then tears started streaming. Incontrollable sobbing followed next. I could not restrain it and I did feel like I want to because it felt really felt good to cry (The last time I cried was when my dad suffered a stroke and I cried with my mother. It was moved by my feeling of overwhelming sadness. This time round it was different. I was not moved by any emotions) There was a sense of relief though I did not know where it came from.

Subsequently, Matthew and Xinglong came to me and prayed for me. I began to realize why I wept. There was joy and fear at the same time. Joy because I am assured of my salvation but fear because I’m afraid I might not see my parents in heaven. As Adrian continued speaking while we have sat down, tears were still streaming. I also had a strange thought: if I have not laughed in 6 years, God would have made me laugh out instead. What an amazing God, He just told me in a most tangible way that He was with me at that very occasion. Never felt that before. Let me work boldly towards my family’s salvation. Praise God.

In Faith and Truth,

Wee Peng

29/10/2008

Thoughts from Forerunners Adult Retreat 2008 - Marcus

Marcus’ Thoughts from Forerunners Adult Retreat 2008

“Driven by Eternity” lives up to its name, to wake up Christians all over and challenge all on what it really means to be preparing for eternity with God (and not the devil)

And I’m one such person. It’s good fright to know that Affabel’s characters are some of the traits that surface in my life now and then. What have I been doing about it?

It’s encouraging to know God’s wonderful plan for us and hell was created for the devil and his minions, not us. God has paved the way and sets such high expectations that it can only be fulfilled through Jesus. He has not deserted us (yet), but has shown us the way to live and how we can achieve eternal life with God. The question is “am I living the life that God has intended?” Holy and Righteous, Faithful and Obedient…

Prior to this retreat, I was deep in thoughts on a particular question “What does it mean to be a Christian?” … and I’d say the retreat provided a good and apt answer. I’m very taken aback by my lack of the “Fear of the Lord” in my life, and enlightened just how important it goes hand in hand with Love of God. This is indeed a necessary basic Christian doctrine that must be emphasized. And Spiritual Disciplines are important to develop the Christian fundamentals, developing a healthy thirst for God’s Word and a heart for service. I’m also encouraged to “Believe what I read” rather than “Read what I believe”. All these lessons are beneficial and necessary these days.

I believe we’re living in the end times, and on borrowed Grace. How much longer can I go on testing God’s Grace? I believe many of us can identify with Paul when he “want to do what is right, but don’t do it. Instead, he do what he hates” (Romans 7:14 – 25). In the first morning QT, I’m led to read 1 John 1:5-10. A lack of Christ and His teachings leads us to walk in darkness. The converse is true, to Walk in the Light, we have to fellowship with Jesus. It’s time to stop deceiving ourselves and wise up. And that is so necessary. The Time is Now! We’ll never know when Jesus will come again, so make haste the need to return to the Lord and walk in His Ways.

Let’s press on together, in Christ and with one another. We have to spur one another on. We’re our brothers-keeper. Remember God’s two greatest commands: Love God & Love People.

Living for eternity,
~Marcus

Forerunners Retreat 2008-Swee Ching

Forerunners Retreat 2008

Personal Testimony 30 Oct 2008 – By Lee Swee Ching

I anticipated the annual retreat simply because I have no duties and responsibility assigned and I can focus on the teachings and receiving. Probably because last year I missed all the sessions as I was helping in the children programs.

HOUR 2 ETERNAL HOME OF THE DEAD

As Adrian started teaching from Day 1 till Day 2, we absorbed 4 sessions of teachings. There was already fear in the hearts of some of the members but to me, I am pretty confident that I have secured a place in heaven.

After Hour 2 when Adrian shared that Demons operate by functions eg. Bitterness, anger etc, I shared with my cell group that recently I experienced bitterness as I serve God. I am like Martha who feels angry when she saw Mary sitting by Jesus’s feet, and demanded Jesus to tell Mary to help her. I felt like Martha, doing a lot of work, running around, and at times I feel bitter that I have to do so much and God never send anyone to help me. I realized that I need to be like Mary, who has chosen what is better, I need to sit at Jesus’s feet to listen to what he said, and not be distracted. SIGH.

And as we continue to discuss what is the driving force behind our lives, guess what is my answer? Work again!! I shared that I am someone who seems to “learn” by working and I serve God by working for him. Which is why I take every opportunity of work to “serve” Him, work is equivalent to serving God. I am actually pretty deceived.

WORSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

I chose the song As The Deer. I need to be like a deer who pants for the water. I think my soul is crying out for God..

DAY 3 QUIET TIME

God spoke to me through Hebrews 6: 7-12 He reinforced that if my life like a field produces crops useful to those it is farmed, I will receive blessing, if my life produces thorns and thistles, it is worthless and is in danger of being cursed and will be burned.  BUT the beautiful thing is God assured me that He is NOT UNJUST. He will not forget my work and the love I have shown Him as I helped His people and continue to help. 

I need to be diligent to the very end in order to make my hope sure. I cannot be lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. After the QT when XH led the song “I’m Amazed”, I just couldn’t stop crying.

SIGH.. I feel very sorry for myself.. and I feel the love of God overwhelming me.. and I feel sorry for those of us who are far away from Him like me.. so quite a mixture of feelings.

HOUR 5 THE FOUNDATION

During Hour 5 discussion, I shared that I do not have the full manifestation of obedience! I don’t think I fear God as much as He desired. And when Adrian invited us to come forward to receive prayers, I have to go up. Something is wrong with me. I confessed to Adrian that I am striving very hard to win God’s favour and I do not have any desire to read God’s word. I couldn’t think of any reasons why I don’t love the word of God. Adrian asked me to go down on my knees, lift up my hands and as he prayed over me, he spoke of pride and self-sufficiency. I have became proud and complacent, thinking that I do not need the word of God anymore. I have been deceived and pride has caused me to sin by willfully choose not to open the bible to read. I repented and confessed that I serve out of self-glory instead of His glory.

HOUR 6 HEAVEN & FINAL DAY

It is only after the last session’s discussion that I started to doubt if I can really enter through the narrow gate of heaven. Thank God for humbling me. Yes it took a total of 6 lessons to reveal that I have been over confident and complacent! SIGH but God is good. Really. He never fails to surprise me. 

On the last day morning, Joan shared the vision she receive for me when she was standing behind me interceding. She saw a running stream of water, gushing down fast. The water symbolizes God’s living water and His presence in my life. However in the water, there are pebbles and rocks. God assures me by saying “Despite all these obstacles (pebbles) in your life, my power is enough to move you through”. Amen!

As I write this testimony now, I know that pride is still in me. It does not disappear overnight after retreat ends. But I thank God that He revealed this sin in my life and I pray that I will overcome this. Please continue to remember me in prayers.

FR Retreat 08 Reflections-Esther Su Cheng

ForeRunner Retreat 2008 will mark the 4^th retreat I’ve attended since joining the zone in 2004. Thanks to God for His faithfulness and love in guiding me through these years and for using each retreat to speak to me powerfully. This year, as part of the Retreat Com, I was privy to the trailer of the curriculum we were using this year – Driven by Eternity during one of the meetings held at Adrian’s place.

I remember my reaction to the wonderfully produced video was, “Wah…so serious ah?” Serene’s response was, “Yes, this is a serious topic.” After that, I was left pondering what I had seen earlier and that stirred my heart to be excited to receive what God had prepared to speak to me through the retreat.

Let me backtrack a little to weeks before the retreat. I have just started a new job in social services and I’m certain God has called me here. (That’s another story for another time…)
While excited that I’m here serving where God has put in my heart since yonks ago, friends around me have also started on other journeys in their life such as pursuing a degree, getting attached/married, starting a new job, etc.

To be very honest, as I look at these friends, I felt that God has forgotten about me while He is moving everyone forward rapidly. As these friends moved on more, I felt that God has left me behind everyone else even further. And thus the instinct to compare myself with these friends so I don’t feel so bad about where I am started growing within me...

Fast forward to the FR retreat held at the Girls’ Brigade Retreat Centre this year. So, the week prior to the retreat was super busy and packed with endless things to complete, hence not much time devoted to preparing me spiritually for the retreat except for a quick prayer now and then. Even the morning before the check-in time, I was at work, alone in the centre where I worked because the rest of the team was busy at an external event.

The morning itself was busy as I was busy with work, and busy writing the skit for the Retreat Committee’s item for Worship Extravaganza. In the end, I was later than I thought I would be and most certainly, that did not start things on a good note for me. However, I prayed that God would take away the feelings of unsettledness within me so I could be fresh and ready to receive what He wants to say to me.

Even though the teachings by John Bevere spoke to my heart and reminded me to look at my life differently, in my heart, I felt strangely distant from the Lord even though I was at the retreat to encounter Him. Besides being physically tired, I could not understand why I was
feeling so detached from God.

During the Spiritual Formation on Monday morning led by Adrian, I was journaling down some thoughts about my current relationship status – Single. I wrote the following down in my journal:“Lord, I cannot believe that You will bring me a man who will meet my
needs…” (Underlined and bolded for emphasis).

When I read the words I wrote, I froze immediately. Suddenly, it became so very apparent that I’ve really been very self-absorbed! Read those words again and tell me you don’t agree. I’m
certain you’ll agree with me what I’ve written will sound like I’m expecting God to meet my desires to meet a man who will meet my needs. Who am I but a little being on this vast
universe? Compared to the Almighty Creator, who am I?

What a self-centered and self-serving person I’ve become indeed, expecting that God will meet my demands as if I deserved it! I thank God that He is also a merciful and loving God who did not choose to terminate my existence here on this earth following such pride! Immediately, I prayed for forgiveness and turned to Psalm 51:
1
Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
3
For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,^[a]
And blameless when You judge.

And,

10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

Indeed, I prayed that He would forgive my transgressions and forgive me for I had sinned greatly against Him and Him alone. I prayed that He would restore to me the joy of His salvation so I may teach transgressors His ways and then, sinners will be converted to Him.

However, if I thought God was done with me, I was wrong because He certainly had a greater message in store for me during the Praise and Worship session led by Davinia. During the session, Adrian gave an altar call and I went up to receive prayer.

Through Adrian, God told me to stop comparing myself with others. Whatever glories He has given them, it is theirs alone. He has a unique plan for me and I just need to trust Him. He is my Jesus and no one can change that. I was also told to stay obedient to what He wants so He can bring me further.

Those very words spoke to my heart and tears started flowing uncontrollably. As I sat there meditating and reflecting, I heard God asking me – Why are you rejecting My love for you? I
cried even more as I recalled one of the passages covered during the teaching taken from Hebrews 4:6:
6 if they fall away,^[a] to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for
themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.

With each comparison I made, I was telling God that His dying on the cross was not good enough for me. With each comparison I made, I was sending Jesus back to the cross to be crucified again and again and again and again and again. With each comparison I made, I was telling the world that whatever Jesus did on the cross was not enough.

With each comparison I made, I was telling God He didn’t know any better than I. With each comparison I made, I was telling God that He doesn’t know what’s best for me. With each
comparison I made, I was putting myself in God’s position, much like Lucifer who thought he could make a better God.

As I meditated some more, I realized that these seeds of comparison had so insidiously taken root in my heart and I had failed to notice how serious it had become. Our enemy does work
in ways like these and I cannot give him too much credit for what I’m responsible for as well. Though I had been prompted to study His Word seriously and to spend time growing in His Word daily, I have become like the analogy I used in my sharing with others – getting changed and ready to go for a run but I ended up sleeping instead.

God also further revealed to me that these seeds of comparison had given birth to the fruit of envy and jealousy of others. With that fruit, it has choked up my ability to be loving towards others and sharing in and rejoicing with each step in life they had made. I had become selfish and self-centered and self-serving which is the total opposite of the fruits of the Spirit God had told me to cultivate.

With that revelation still fresh in my mind, I renewed my commitment to spend time studying His Word daily and to continuously reject any thought of comparison that comes up in my mind, and instead, to counter those thoughts with things that are pure, noble and good as instructed by God in Philippians 4:8.

Through the many teaching sessions, God stirred my heart to be a true Disciple of Christ so I can make a different for Him in the world and I want to be that ForeRunner for the Lord! I am committed to taking my walk with Him seriously because His warnings for those lukewarm
believers are severe. And because heaven is far more wonderful than my human comprehension allows, I want to be there in heaven to see for myself what it is like! To ensure I get there, I have to start right here, right now and to obey everything He has told me to do!

I’m also heartened to hear of the many testimonies shared during the retreat about how God has spoken to my fellow brothers and sisters-in-Christ to make the changes in their lives. I pray that we will all continue to spur each other onto greater faith and obedience in Him, and not just allow ourselves to return to our former older habits in the weeks to come.

I trust that the Lord will continue molding the hearts of fellow Forerunners so we can truly become people who will bring glory to the Lord with each thing we do so others may see His
works in us and praise our Father in heaven. Most importantly, as each of us rise up to the unique calling God has given to each of us, may we impact lives of the pre-believers in the world around us, and the lives of our lukewarm brothers and sisters so we can truly approach the throne of our God in the judgment day with boldness and hope, and confident of where we will spend eternity.

Eternity begins right here, right now! 

Journeying with you in Christ,

Esther Marikea 

29 Oct 08