Forerunners Retreate 2008 reflection by Xin Hui

Forerunners Retreat 2008 - My Reflections

The message from ‘Driven by Eternity’ is hard and I left the retreat with a heavy heart. But there is no doubt that God spoke to me during this retreat.

Throughout the teaching sessions, there was this nagging sense that I have perhaps grown complacent and have started to neglect God in my daily life. I have become lukewarm. And the more worrying thing was that I somehow found a way to convince myself that being lukewarm is fine as long as I don’t fall away from God totally. Based on what happened to the characters in Affabel, I realized that my thinking was quite dangerous. Yet, my pride and self-righteousness caused my heart to harden against the truth.

During the worship session, when Adrian called for those who needed prayer to step forward, I struggled. Part of me told me that I was alright since I have not been convicted of any serious sin by the teachings. Yet, the other part of me said that I was NOT alright because not being shaken by the teachings probably implied a hardened heart. Thank God, the latter part got the better of me and I went forward.

To cut the long story short, God reminded me of what Jesus did on the cross and of what it truly means to be a Christian. It is not simply about going to church weekly, attending cell group, reading the Bible or even serving Him. The foundation of our faith is the cross and God’s love for us. God also brought to my mind the parable from Luke 18:9-14 –

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Along the way, I have become like the Pharisee. God wanted to humble me. As I knelt there that day, I felt like I was the helpless tax collector, pleading to God for mercy because of all the times I have not put Him first in my life, questioned His goodness and complained against Him.

Adrian asked me to confess each of the things I have not obeyed God in and to ask for God’s forgiveness. After that, he told me that God’s love is not conditional upon the things that we do for Him. Nothing we do can earn us God’s love. It is given freely. Wow. That hit me hard again. God’s ways are sometimes so difficult to comprehend. But I suppose that is how God wanted to assure me of what Jesus said at the end of the above parable. Whenever we humble ourselves before the Lord and surrender to Him, He will justify and exalt us.

Having eternity in mind will definitely help me to keep things in perspective and to persevere through this race which we are running for God. I know that I will need to continually pray against the lukewarm-ness and the self-righteousness, especially once I get catapulted back into the busy-ness at work. I pray the same for all Forerunners.



Xinhui

Prayer Focus 4: A World Evangelised

(Review instructions here)

"You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
~ Acts 1:8 ~

Pray for greater synergistic partnership among churches, mission agencies, humanitarian networks, international corporations and foundations to transform the nations.

Be bold today and ask the Lord to enlarge your vision and show you a glimpse of His work in the world-at-large. Allow Him to break your comfort walls, enlarge your heart, challenge your mind and stretch your spirit to accommodate the Kingdom He desires to establish in the world, beyond the shores of our home and nation.

Prayer Focus 3: A Nation Transformed

(Review instructions here)

"Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever."
~ Daniel 12:3 ~

Pray for Singapore to be:-

• A bright shining star where Christ is feared and honored in every level of decision making, every expression of society, every arena of national life and influence - Home & Family; Justice & Law; Defence; International Relations; Education; Health care; Life Sciences; Home affairs; Info. Technology; Media & the Arts; Entertainment & Tourism; Environment; National & Community Development; Manpower; Transport; Sports, etc.
• A bright shining star in the arena of public administration, human resource development, economic innovation and entrepreneurship. That Singapore will bless the world in big ways to bring strategic change and practical benefits, with no strings attached.
• A bright shining star in the arena of foreign policy and international affairs. That Singapore will be a peacemaker and a bridge builder, God's ambassador of reconciliation.
• A bright shining star in the arena of humanitarian concerns, servant-leadership and volunteerism.
• A bright shining star in the arena of media and the arts. That Singapore will showcase world-class works that are clean, creative and contemporary to unlock nations of His glory!

Pray for Singapore as the Spirit leads. Pour out your dreams, hopes, desires and burdens for this nation before the throne of grace. Ask the Lord to reveal to you His heart for this nation.

Refreshed by God!

Testimony – Workplace Alpha Day Away on 26 April 2008

(By Carol Yip)

In March this year, at the encouragement of my cousin Yvonne, I enrolled myself in the Workplace Alpha program over lunchtime at Telok Ayer Methodist Church. As I am already a believer, I went with the aim of grounding myself once again in the foundation – which is the Word of God. I also hope that through the Alpha, I’ll be refreshed by God as the past year (2007) has been a traumatic one for me.

25 October was my dad’s birthday. Unfortunately, it was also the day which he passed on after a sudden heart attack. I was devastated and no amount of words could describe how I felt. I could not express myself and only managed bouts of tears occasionally. My dad was not a believer and thus the buddhist rites at the wake did not make me feel any better. More often than not, my heart was filled with fear and flashbacks of how my dad grasped for his breath during the attack. I remembered telling God that I did not want my dad to suffer on my way to the hospital and I would like to believe that God answered my prayer as my dad look peaceful at his death and the time of pain was relatively short.

When all the rites and wake was over, when friends and relatives resumed their routines, I was still in a state of shock and fear. I could not sleep well during the night as I was constantly haunted by flashbacks. Eventually, I broke down and had to confront the pain of losing my dad. On many occasions, prayer was difficult and I doubted the goodness of God in my life.

Despite the fact that I was faithless, God remains faithful. He has surrounded me with many friends and a loving community of believers who was there to catch hold of me when I was down. My leaders and cell members at AMKMC also took time to keep me company at almost every time interval during my dad’s wake. My colleagues and friends also showered me with their love and concern.

More importantly, God also spoke to me during the Alpha Day Away on 26 April 08. God reminded me through the word of knowledge that I needed to spend more time with my mum and I believed God also wants me to share Christ with her. I was also moved by the presence of God during the time of worship and ministering during the Day Away.

I thank God also for my cousin Yvonne, without which I would not be attending alpha and sharing my testimony with you. I also thank God for Peggy, my group leader for praying with me and for her faithful service every week.

Moving forward, I pray that the joy and presence of God will continue to be my strength. Amen.

In His Grace,

Carol

Journey to know Christ...

Recently, Forerunners Families finished a series titled "Connecting with God's Family". In the last session, we were encouraged to reflect and record down significant moments in our lives that act as spiritual markers/memorial stones of God's faithfulness.

Below is a testimony from Jessica on how the the family of her Alma Meta has contributed their stone of grace into her river of life through her salvation experience. May you be blessed as you read it, and may you too begin to give God praise for the things He has done in your life.

My Journey to Jesus Christ – How the Lord pursued and saved me.
(From: Jessica)

As of today, 20 May 2008, I’ve been a Christian for almost 14 years. Looking back, there has never been a day where the grace of Christ had not sheltered me or the presence of God too far from me.

The seed begins to grow…
The journey of my faith truly began to take form in my 7th year, when I was in primary school. Despite the fact that my parents were pre-believers, I was enrolled into a mission school – Paya Lebar Methodist Girls School. For this I truly praise God for His grace paved the way for me on this journey. It is here that I would spend the next 10 years of my student life, and eventually discover Jesus and forming my understanding of how a Christian should be.

Through the school songs, morning devotions, prayer times, chapel worship services, the Lord was showing Himself to me and teaching me who He is. Even though my young mind could hardly understand the sermons or appreciate the words of the songs we sang, my heart was slowly being drawn by the Holy Spirit to this Jesus in ways I would only later understand. While I was like any typical student going through the set schedules of lessons, assemblies and devotions (and occasional complains about the principle, vice-principle, teachers and their “blabbering” at the pulpit.), the Lord was beginning His good work in me. He brought a Christian friend into my life and through the years in Primary, I spent much time at her place after our weekly swimming classes. In those moments, I learnt how Christian love in a family looked like and was deeply blessed by the love that she and her parents showed me as well. At some point, I started following them to church and I did enjoy church service. I stopped going after a while because it was quite difficult to make my way there on my own if they did not bring me. I did however, develop a hunger for more of God and a desire to be in fellowship with God’s people in the church grew in me. I visited a few churches through my years in primary school and settled for 2 years in Paya Lebar Methodist Church’s Sunday school where one of my good friends worships.

Looking through my collection of treasures from the past, I realized that it was also during these years that I developed a habit of journaling and soon, instead of “dear diary”, I was beginning my journal entries with “dear Jesus”. I give God all praise indeed for it was He was had begun a good work in me and it was He that taught my heart to fear and acknowledge Him.

As I graduated to secondary school, my friend went on to another church and so I followed her for a while. Soon I was enjoying myself and even took part in the Christmas performance to sing in the Sunday school choir. However, my parents were increasing getting worried about my involvement with church. They were concerned that I may be getting influenced by these “church teachings” and may get too involved for my own good. They started to plan “visits to grandma’s place” on Sunday mornings instead of the usual Sunday afternoons. So my opportunities to worship in church on Sunday morning came to a halt.

Encountering Christ…
While all these were happening, the Lord was preparing my heart to have a personal encounter with Him in school. In my lower secondary years, I had a group of friends which I usually “hang out” with and do things together with. Through those times, I was mislead to think that they were not studying at home (mugging their books, as a student would put it), apart from completing our given assignments. Hence I took to that believe and did not put in too much extra time on revisions. The truth was revealed after our final examinations in the first year. All of them topped the class and went on to the best class the following year (the “A” class). I, on the other hand, suffered the consequences of my faulty assumptions and plummeted to the “C” class. Obviously I was not going to be in the same class with my friends for the 2nd year and perhaps the rest of the years. I felt betrayed and left behind, because through the months before when I asked them about work or if they had studied and prepared for certain tests or exams, they would tell me not to worry, and that they have not started studying or preparing at all. They would assure me that even if I did not study for it, I would pass certain tests.

In my despair, I vowed that I would never again trust anyone and that I would study for myself and get to the top. I began to make for myself rules that I would abide by; rules like “I will not harm or sabotage anyone, but I would not share my notes or help them either.” I became a self-centered and selfish person. I began to strife to be the top of my class and each time when test papers were returned, scores and rankings was all I was concerned about. I made sure I was doing better than my partner, and whoever did better than me became my next opponent to beat.

On Ash Wednesday of 1994, I attended chapel services as usual. The school had invited an outside speaker. I could not remember what exactly was shared that day. What I do remember was that as he spoke, I felt my heart was tugged by a sense of warmth and assurance. The weight of the burden I was carrying became so apparent but I did not know why. When he finally finished his sermon and gave the call for those who would like to receive Jesus and trust in Him to raise their hands, I knew he was calling out to me. In that moment of grace, against my pride and fear that others may be looking and what they would say, I raised my hand and went up to the altar. There, I began to tear as the minister prayed for me. As he ministered, I felt the Lord say to my heart “You can trust me.” And I felt the weight upon my shoulders lifted. I wept, for my soul was tired, stressed out from having to protect myself and placing such rigorous rules to live by. I returned to my class after the short follow up session. I felt that I was given a new life, and for a while, I enjoyed life. I laughed more, I shared more and I began to accept the title of “Christian” in my life. That year, I too achieved my goal of getting out of the “C” class and was promoted to Secondary 3”B”.

The flesh is weak… but the Spirit is willing…
Having seen the fruit of my “labor”, I continued to work hard to maintain the “top” position within my class. I was no longer as “selfish” and became more willing to help others but I was just as driven. I still wanted to do my best and ranking the best way to gauge where I stand. But at the same time, I learnt what healthy competition is and soon, I was working hard together with the rest of my classmates. I wanted not to defeat them, but to win together with them, so that we would spur one another on.

Through friends and experiences in these final years of my secondary school, the Lord began to open my eyes to Christian living – what’s right and what’s not. I had not yet learnt to read the Word, but the Holy Spirit was a faithful teacher who began to work in my heart and soften it so that I can experience more of God’s presence in my life. He led me on one occasion to join a small prayer group in my class, led by my form teacher and I learnt how to pray for others. He stirred compassion and faith in my heart through a video screening of a man who lived victoriously and died gloriously in the midst of nose cancer. He taught me about Jesus’ faithfulness and love through the songs we sang at chapel worship services. As I grew intellectually, I also grew in understanding and appreciation of the lyrics that we sang in our school anthem, school creed and school hymn.

.

School Anthem
O Let our youthful voices ring

with all their joyfulness

In praise and gladness let us sing

Of Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

.

Here may we seek all wisdom, truth

And ways of kindness

Through all the years of golden youth

At Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

.

So when we leave its sheltering walls

We go with fearlessness

Enriched to face life's greatest call

By Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

.

Now let us pray and learn and trust and obey

To serve Him in every way

Glory to God we give and pray

For Paya Lebar MGS (2x)

.

The first 3 verses of the School Anthem were written by Miss Nancy Coggan who taught in the school from 1955-1957. The 4th verse was written by Mrs Winnie Tan and added in to incorporate the school's statement of faith.

.

School Hymn
I hear the bells of PL ring

The notes of golden youth;

I hear His voice in every peal

Calling me to seek the Truth

I hear, and seek to make my life

A mirror of His shining light,

Do the chimes stir within your heart

His awesome peace and might?

.

Chorus

Let your light so shine before men

That all may see His face;

Let our school be a torch aflame

Teaching love and His saving grace.

.

I hear the pipes of PL sound

The Majesty of God.

I hear the songs we sing in praise,

Lifting His name with one accord,

O PL girls make Him as our King;

Let us enthrone Him as our King.

Our God has promised those who trust

His loving care and blessing.

.

It is amidst these sounds of PL that I began my journey in Jesus Christ, and looking back now, I understand that the seed of the Master’s call upon my life was sowed in these precious years that have gone by. Even when I did not know Him, He knew me, and loved me. His mighty hand protected me and He himself led me to salvation and faith in Him. Through those years and in the years that follow, the Lord brought me closer to Himself. Today, by His grace and the faithful stewardship of the teachers, principle, vice-principle, chaplain and other staff, I give praise to God that just as the school has adopted the following hymn of Howard Walter as her creed, so have I adopted it as my mission and aim that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.

I would be true for there are those who trust me

I would be pure for there are those who care
I would be strong for there is much to suffer
I would be brave for there is much to dare (2x)

I would be friend of all - the foe, the friendless
I would be giving and forget the gift
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up and love and laugh and lift. (2x)

I would be prayerful through each busy moment
I would be constantly in touch with God
I would be tuned to hear his slightest whisper
I would have faith to tread the path Christ trod. (2x)

And as a well-learned PL-lite would end off saying…
To God be the Glory!

SF102 - A reflection

Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 – A Reflection.
By Jessica Tan
(below is a sharing from her experience at the recent Spiritual Formation 102. May you be blessed.)

It could have been another busy weekend, filled with outings with friends, serving in church and meals with the family. But on that weekend, I had other plans. I had an appointment with Silence and Solitude. I had an appointment with God, my Maker.

19 April 2008. I had signed up for this Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 (SF102) with the Prayer Ministry 3 weeks ago. At first, I was double-minded about going for this retreat because of the multitude of tasks I needed to accomplish. To my logical mind, it was simply a case of bad timing. But deep in my soul, I was yearning for a break. I knew I needed to take time off the hectic schedules and To-Dos and tend to myself – the person. I finally made the commitment to go for this retreat (and yes, including the commitment to keep my mobile phone switched off at ALL times for the duration of the retreat.)

SF102 was an extension of SF101 (Spiritual Formation Retreat 101*). This time, it was a 2 day 1 night stay-in event. There was more silence, more solitude, but also more depth as we reflect upon the issues and events of our lives. While SF101 focused on the fundamentals of the Spiritual Disciple of Silence and Solitude (like learning how to hear God through scripture, silence and nature, how to prepare ourselves for Quiet Time and our own personal times of Solitude), this retreat focused on learning what it means to rest in God and taking time to examine our own lives and how we have lived.

The times of reflection and guided questions provided were especially insightful. In the blessing of solitude and providence of much time, I was able to bare my soul before the Lord and allow Him to bring to light the areas I have fallen short of His standards. I came to understand that the stresses I feel in various areas of my life was because I had, in my busyness, unwittingly kept Him out of those areas. As a result, I constantly find myself battling with unrest at work, frustrations at home and confusion about my future. I also came face to face with wrong deeds in my life that desperately needs to be confessed and changed. There in the safety of my retreat center room, I found myself confronted with the Holiness of my God and at the same time restored by the magnitude of His faithful love. Tears of repentance flowed freely in the privacy of that room as I came to terms with my failures as a disciple of Christ, my humanness and pride. Overwhelmed by the presence and love of my Heavenly Father, I came honestly to Him, asking Him to empower me to be as He wants me to be – in thought and in deed.

Over those 2 days, I wrestled with God over many issues, some of which I quickly resolved and found peace; others more long-drawn and painful. Yet by the end of the 2 days, I left that sanctuary not with a “high” as some would expect from a “Spiritual Encounter”, but rather with a hunger for more – More intimacy with my Lord and Maker, more clarity on issues revealed and more grace to persevere in working through them, more commitment to feed on His truth, more resolve to do the things I have committed to do.

I have been blessed greatly through this retreat, not because of faith-filled teachings or because I saw great miracles. I am blessed simply because I met with my Lord. In those 2 days, I was fully His and like Mary, I truly felt that I was at the feet of Jesus, simply listening to Him, receiving life directly from Him, fully yielding to Him.

Departing from the retreat, I have since returned to the world to face its daily demands, to manage the lists of tasks and fulfill the various responsibilities that have in no way diminished. Yet, I feel confident that my heart has learnt the great value of solitude and the treasure of time away to be with God. That hunger for more of God has led me to weave such a precious discipline into my schedule and I have been greatly blessed. I pray that as you consider attending such a retreat, you will be enriched in your walk with Jesus and that through the discipline of solitude and silence; you may grow “to (truly) gain Christ and be found in Him.” (Phil 3:8b) (Italics mine)

* - Spiritual Formation Retreat 101 (SF101) is a 1-day guided retreat that aims allows participants to learn and experience the Spiritual Discipline of Silence and Solitude. This retreat is held twice each year.

Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 (SF102) is the extension of SF101, and is open to all worshippers who have been through SF101. For more information on each of these retreats, please look out for announcements in our Sunday Bulletin or contact the church office.

Transformed in Christ: A family’s journey into love and life.

- By Mrs Patricia Wong

As the mother of two young children, I used to feel burdened with the responsibility of bringing my girls up the right way. I was often frustrated when they asked me about God, so I would tell them that God does not exist. I now thank God for placing the hunger in them to long to know Him and to persevere in finding out the truth. God has been very kind to our family. He did not leave us even though my heart was hardened.

We were having dinner at my sister’s house one evening when Jaymie (my younger daughter) asked innocently, “Is there a god in the world?” My sister’s best friend, Christine was patient in explaining the answer. “In the beginning, God created the earth. Then God created man. We can’t see God but He sees us and He loves us!” The girls’ faces lit up when they heard about our good God and how powerful and mighty He is. Their hunger for God was evident.

I knew then there was no way I could deny my children of the opportunity to know God but at the same time, I felt unworthy of His love. I prayed for strength and courage and God gave me both and much more. The Lord said to me, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”

We started our walk from darkness towards the path of light.

The first lesson I learnt was that the Christian walk is not a bed of roses. I was terribly uncertain when I faced challenges. However, God has been faithful to send Christine into my life. She encouraged me greatly with these words. “Just tell God you are uncertain and let Him handle the rest. He knows what you are doubtful of because He is your Creator!” During this time, I grew more intimate with the Lord as He taught me that "He will redeem us from our iniquities’” (Psalm 130:8)" …"and present us before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy” (Jude 24) Praise the Lord!

The first challenge came when the girls started asking many questions about God’s nature. I felt helpless and embarrassed as I was unable to answer to most of their questionsqueries. Tamie (my elder girl) wanted to know if God has hands and Jaymie could not believe that God is everywhere! Fortunately the teachers in Sunday school took time to explain things to them.

The biggest challenge came when I faced objection from my husband. He was upset with me for bringing the girls to church every Sunday morning and frowned when we turned on worship songs in the car. I felt that God was taking us away from my husband. It was later on that I found out it was far from the truth! Our marriage is a blessing from God.

My relationship with my husband Peter was not good. Before I accepted Christ, I was too busy with my children to remember that Peter is the head of the household.

As I read the Bible, I found out that God wants us to respect our husbands. The Word also says, ‘”A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies”’ Proverbs 31:10 Thus, After this realisation, I started showing love and respect for to my husband out of obedience to God. I now recall that would have been impossible to do without God’s help! God strengthened me with His Word each time I needed encouragement and to my amazement, our marriage improved over time.

I thanked God when Peter came to realize the change in me. Eventually, he also accepted Christ. Tears flowed down my cheeks when I heard him say the sinners’ prayer with brother Cam Yew, Calvin and some of our cell group members on 23^rd December last year. The girls were delighted that daddy has gained eternal life.

It is so wonderful to know God. There is now peace and joy in our family and we experience God’s love in our daily living.

Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord or fully declare His praise?

Psalm 106:2

Patricia now worships at 10.30am service and serves as an usher. Her girls are attending Sunday School at the Hub, while her husband worships at the Mandarin Service at Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church (CAC).