SF102 - A reflection

Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 – A Reflection.
By Jessica Tan
(below is a sharing from her experience at the recent Spiritual Formation 102. May you be blessed.)

It could have been another busy weekend, filled with outings with friends, serving in church and meals with the family. But on that weekend, I had other plans. I had an appointment with Silence and Solitude. I had an appointment with God, my Maker.

19 April 2008. I had signed up for this Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 (SF102) with the Prayer Ministry 3 weeks ago. At first, I was double-minded about going for this retreat because of the multitude of tasks I needed to accomplish. To my logical mind, it was simply a case of bad timing. But deep in my soul, I was yearning for a break. I knew I needed to take time off the hectic schedules and To-Dos and tend to myself – the person. I finally made the commitment to go for this retreat (and yes, including the commitment to keep my mobile phone switched off at ALL times for the duration of the retreat.)

SF102 was an extension of SF101 (Spiritual Formation Retreat 101*). This time, it was a 2 day 1 night stay-in event. There was more silence, more solitude, but also more depth as we reflect upon the issues and events of our lives. While SF101 focused on the fundamentals of the Spiritual Disciple of Silence and Solitude (like learning how to hear God through scripture, silence and nature, how to prepare ourselves for Quiet Time and our own personal times of Solitude), this retreat focused on learning what it means to rest in God and taking time to examine our own lives and how we have lived.

The times of reflection and guided questions provided were especially insightful. In the blessing of solitude and providence of much time, I was able to bare my soul before the Lord and allow Him to bring to light the areas I have fallen short of His standards. I came to understand that the stresses I feel in various areas of my life was because I had, in my busyness, unwittingly kept Him out of those areas. As a result, I constantly find myself battling with unrest at work, frustrations at home and confusion about my future. I also came face to face with wrong deeds in my life that desperately needs to be confessed and changed. There in the safety of my retreat center room, I found myself confronted with the Holiness of my God and at the same time restored by the magnitude of His faithful love. Tears of repentance flowed freely in the privacy of that room as I came to terms with my failures as a disciple of Christ, my humanness and pride. Overwhelmed by the presence and love of my Heavenly Father, I came honestly to Him, asking Him to empower me to be as He wants me to be – in thought and in deed.

Over those 2 days, I wrestled with God over many issues, some of which I quickly resolved and found peace; others more long-drawn and painful. Yet by the end of the 2 days, I left that sanctuary not with a “high” as some would expect from a “Spiritual Encounter”, but rather with a hunger for more – More intimacy with my Lord and Maker, more clarity on issues revealed and more grace to persevere in working through them, more commitment to feed on His truth, more resolve to do the things I have committed to do.

I have been blessed greatly through this retreat, not because of faith-filled teachings or because I saw great miracles. I am blessed simply because I met with my Lord. In those 2 days, I was fully His and like Mary, I truly felt that I was at the feet of Jesus, simply listening to Him, receiving life directly from Him, fully yielding to Him.

Departing from the retreat, I have since returned to the world to face its daily demands, to manage the lists of tasks and fulfill the various responsibilities that have in no way diminished. Yet, I feel confident that my heart has learnt the great value of solitude and the treasure of time away to be with God. That hunger for more of God has led me to weave such a precious discipline into my schedule and I have been greatly blessed. I pray that as you consider attending such a retreat, you will be enriched in your walk with Jesus and that through the discipline of solitude and silence; you may grow “to (truly) gain Christ and be found in Him.” (Phil 3:8b) (Italics mine)

* - Spiritual Formation Retreat 101 (SF101) is a 1-day guided retreat that aims allows participants to learn and experience the Spiritual Discipline of Silence and Solitude. This retreat is held twice each year.

Spiritual Formation Retreat 102 (SF102) is the extension of SF101, and is open to all worshippers who have been through SF101. For more information on each of these retreats, please look out for announcements in our Sunday Bulletin or contact the church office.